This is the day, a moment that I always fear.
While waiting, I wasn’t excited. Neither was I worried, because I know, my fate is sealed. This is the moment when the hard work pays off. But, I questioned myself, have I really work hard? I dare not answer. As the seconds come by, my throat hurts, it just seems to be telling me something. I get the hint.
I did not anticipate straight As or good grades, because I know this is not my 100% effort. I regretted for sure. I take a look at my results, I didn’t cry, neither did I laugh. I was calm. I hear people crying and others smiling. I was in the hall, looking lost. I lost my mood, I was speechless. My friends, with concern, asked how I did, I didn’t want to say anything. In front of everyone, I remained calm, I told them that I am mentally prepared for this, but.. Honestly, this is still too much to keep within myself. Teachers tried to console me, but I ended up telling them that I am perfectly fine. I asked myself on the way home, what am I going to do, how am I going to tell the rest about it. I pondered.
This is the route that I chose in the first place, thinking that I can excel. People around me told me that I am not going to make it, but I still go ahead with my decision. Now, this has prove that they are right and I am wrong. I look ahead in the future, seeing nothing but darkness and uncertainty.
Because of this, I cried for once.
I am in the midst of nowhere with nothing.
I got to count on myself to get on with life.