Inside and Outside

If not for that major failure, I won’t have learnt to cope with the situation.
If not for that situation, I won’t have realise that my mother cares.
If not for my mother, I won’t have been me.

A short conversation with me, you will discover that I have been through a lot. I appeared to be optimistic but deep within me, I am pessimistic. I am used to the defensive shield outside of me, that no one could hurt me or even feel my emotions. I am not someone who is very expressive in words, neither am I someone who is constantly in deep thoughts. I would not even tell my closest friend or even my mother, if I am sad or I am happy. I prefer to keep them to myself and only myself. I maybe crying on the inside while having fun on the outside, not many people could notice. Till now, I have no plans to let down my defensive shield that have been with me for years. I appeared to be fierce or strict, but the truth is, I do not wish to see the things that have happened to me, to happen to you. But, I recently discover that people learnt when they regret.

Talk to me,
to know me,
to understand me,
for I am not a piece of paper,
with everything written in black and white.

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One thought on “Inside and Outside

  1. We constantly put layers around ourselves, as protection, as a way to cushion the fall… I think my shield is wearing away… my face becomes too expressive when I’m tired and gives away all these thoughts and worries I try to hide. Maybe there will be a time when we will all learn to see that scrapes and cuts help us grow. =]

    Hope all is well,
    -.Raspberries.~

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