The alarm clock went off at 6am in the morning. I could not bring myself to wake up especially because I have no morning lesson today, or rather I have no classes at all today. I changed the alarm clock time to 7am. At 7am, again, I could not bring myself to waking up. 8am, I promise myself. At 8am, I did not hear the alarm. Not too sure why, but I received a message at 8.02am. A message containing my result for the attachment, from the school.

I know around this week the results will be out, I would not say I was not nervous, or anxious. But I know any emotions input will not change anything. I cautiously open up the message, and I saw an A. I smiled to myself. I will never say that I totally and fully deserved that grade. I did try my best, I did get out of my comfort zone. But I perhaps left some mind and heart at home most of the time. I would say I input 80% of my heart, mind and soul. And this again proven something that my colleague at the company told me.

In the working world, it is all the same. It is human nature. If your boss likes you from the start, everything will be smooth sailing. Even if you have made some mistakes, you will be given the opportunity to re-work on it and easily forgiven. On the other hand, if your boss has not have a liking with you at all, no matter how perfect you are, there will always be things to comment about.

How true, I thought. My colleague has always told me that boss loves me.. a lot. Not too sure why. I am not an affectionate person, neither am I a social butterfly.

Anyway, this grade has boost my confidence level, even though it only manage to boost my GPA by 0.04. Well, it is still better than a fall or nothing, which unfortunately, my friend suffered. She was academically inclined, yet she got a B+ for the attachment. I can really tell that she is upset with the grade and the fall in her GPA. But I wasn’t a person who can console someone. So.. I left her to think through and sort out her thought.

Despite having no classes, I went to school for a customized tour to NUS. I felt honored for one reason, this tour is on invitation-basis. Well, after being the failure, the fool, the last for 2 years, this can easily make me happy. Well, attendance rate looked bad. According to the lecturer, 65 people were shortlisted, yet only about 12 turned up. And from these 12 people, 5 are from my class. How interesting, even the lecturer feels that way.

I was hoping for the tour to be for the whole campus, but it turned out that it was only for the business school. One thing for sure, I know I will not want to read business again. Not for my first degree, at least. Not now. Not in these recent years. I am aiming the same target.. as I had for in college, that 2 years, everyone in my class has a common goal. The Faculty of Arts and Social Science! I can’t say for sure if I am just making up for the loss or failure I have made. But these years in business diploma, the lectures, lecturers and the modules I have taken, all in all have eroded my interest away. In the first place, I was so sort ‘forced’ to go to a business course, because I have nowhere to go. Now, I have straighten my mind, I have convinced myself that business is not for me.

I have always been interested in psychology and sociology. Not too sure why though. I find the theories interesting to read about, perhaps not too nice to have an examination for it if I ever enter into the degree programme. This tour somehow has further set my mind to get into the faculty of arts and social science. I was not a little tempted by the business programme. I was constantly thinking about if I will ever be able to make my way to this school. I was thinking if I will ever stepped into here ever again, on a daily basis. I was thinking if I will ever proof myself to others that I can do it. I was thinking if I can make my determination go high and to be motivated enough for this big dream of mine.

I choose passion against practical. I want to enjoy myself, learning what I really like. Rather than to see how much I can make in the future. Perhaps it is one of my only naive thought left in my complex and sophisticated brain. The only naive one, which I insisted that way.


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