Reflecting on 2011

Well, it is finally 2012. I have no idea how did the time fly so fast because it just seems to be yesterday that I tearfully enrolled myself there. Time slipped by, through the holes between my fingers. I tried to grab all of them, but failed.

Reflecting on 2011,

I have changed because of the incident. I lost trust in human generally.

I started writing about my thoughts of the day in my organiser of everything.

My close friend has gotten a clingy boyfriend, I seem to be losing a friend soon.

I got angry to see someone being targeted and ostracized by the whole class, and became the ‘heroine’ to opt to have him in my group. The issue is not him, but his class.

I confessed to myself that I am not someone nice to work with in a project group.

I have proven myself by obtaining an A, despite being targeted and ostracized.

My close friend has gotten a boyfriend, and I am glad that I am not losing a friend anytime soon.

I was in the list to take an additional module. I attended a couple of lessons on Managerial Economics.

I have made the decision for my future. I even pasted it in my organiser to constantly remind myself.

I dropped out of the module after a few week, because I was losing control.

My life was getting overwhelmed by the nearing deadlines, but I know I will cope well.

I aged. 7665 days living.

My close friend broke up with her boyfriend, but I am happy for her, since she is controlling her life and keep things well-scheduled.

I went into the examination hall. Once again, feeling lost. I regretted it, and promised myself to not let such incident happen again.

I started my industrial attachment, full of uncertainties and anticipation.

My result for the previous semester was released. I would not say I was satisfied with the grades, but I was relieved.

My team and I had been struggling every weekends during attachment. We met up in school for Saturdays and Sundays for an Entrepreneurship Competition. We did not get into the finals, but we knew why.

Attachment has finally ended. I learnt, matured and grew.

First day of school again! Year 3 Semester 2!

Green Wave Competition result is out, again, we did not make it.

I could not get my engine started and continued to give myself excuses to procrastinate.

First time in my years here, I felt so lost in a module.

I set my mind to a goal. I know what I want to do upon graduation. I know where I wanted to go. And I will work towards that goal.

People have been telling me, and I have realized it. I am giving others more chances. I was less harsh on others.

I have gotten an A for my attachment. I let out a sigh of relief, since heavy moderation have been done, simply because most people in the class have gotten an A before moderation.

I wrote a letter to my 30-year-old self.

I attended the BJ Christmas Exchange, got out of my comfort zone.

2011 is no a joke at all. The ups and downs made me grow into a better person, though I have lost a part of me in the beginning of the year.

I have learnt many things from 2011,

1. Forgive.
You do not have to forgive everyone and forget everything. But there will be time where a little forgiveness does the excellent job.

2. Be Tolerant.
Be tolerant to everyone and everything. I have always set my expectations high for others and even higher for myself. With that, I could never tolerate a moment of sidetrack, or even idling. In my old mind, there is no rooms for errors, everything just.. had to be perfect. No lesser. Tolerating provides room for future development. A possible path to savage a relationship, the only way to get to where you wanted.

3. Give More Chance.
I changed from someone who doesn’t give any chance, to someone who gives one more chance. This time, I went further, I gave a person a total of three chances, which I may have regretted, but I am glad that I did so. Even she came to ask, how come I am giving so many chances. I realized, not everyone has the same goal, ability and mission in life. Giving chances lead me to knowing someone better.

4. Be A Better Person.
I wouldn’t say I am the best person in the world. But what I have gone through have made me a better person today. I have been ostracized by many and realized the feeling is too awful and unbearable. The most important lesson I have learnt in 2011, which I can never forget and will always remember to pass the message out. Never to exclude anyone, worst still, being a group of people who excludes the minority… Unless you have gone through the same situation, you won’t be able to imagine how one will feel.

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