After living in denial for three years, I finally came to the realization that it was something within me that has made the decision.
I was not left without a choice. There are alternatives available. I could settle for the alternative, but I chose not to. I decided that I have no alternatives, nowhere to go. I bluffed myself for three years, I told people that I was left without a choice. It was my last resort, my only path left available to me.
Until recently, I asked myself again.. Why did you choose to go there, a detour?
There was something within me, not wanting to be defeated, not wanting to settle for less. My pride, though trashed terribly by the reality, was telling me to strive, to try again, to not settle for less. My pride released a message that it is okay to go for a detour in the life journey, and not, forcefully and unwillingly continue with the journey. My pride craves for a little taste of glory, success.
It is only my little pride that is telling me to persevere for I have spent do much time and effort to make it thus far..