Revisiting the Memories

The story shared between my heart and soul..
.. with a mentor, who was angry for me and there to listen to me.
.. with a supportive friend, who have unknowingly seen me been through all that.
.. with a friend, whom I can freely say anything, knowing that everything will be safe.

Yet the full story, was left untold to any living persons nor non-living.

With my inner voice, the full story was told mercilessly to leave me broken and in tears physically and mentally. I could not ignore, nor do I want to acknowledge them. Those dark days have scarred me as much as they have made me stronger, yet more vulnerable. They have shown me the cruel reality and the worst of humans yet the most sincere and purest human nature that brings hope to the world. They have made me lose a part of myself, yet gain a different piece of the jigsaw. They have made me live in constant fear and agony, yet made me fearless to the fearsome.

I questioned if I have approached it the *right* way, or is there a *left* way? Have I been a coward? Or a heroine? Have I emerged as victorious? Or am I a loser?

I told myself to always remember the incident and those days, neither will I ever forgive the involved parties. I am not one without emotions or hatred, with such things happening, no one should be forgiven, no matter what. I will not let go for the impacts are permanent on me. Saying to let go is easy, but not for anyone who has undergone all the things, in such conditions. All I did was to put it aside of me and lead my life with occasional retrieval of those memories, to remind myself how I have been through as a life lesson.

I am curious how things will be different if I had approached it a different way, if I had done things differently, if I had reacted to it violently. I am interested to know if the in-charge had knew the full story at some point of time then, what he would do and how things would be different.

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