Pieces of News

Time is slipping faster and faster each day.
My eyes are looking emptier each day.
The sighs are getting more frequent and louder each day.
The sleep is getting so limited and luxurious.

But I am still surviving.
Because I have to.

24 March, I went in with a usual heart, after slogging hours and hours. With a hope that the things will appear to be substantive and sufficient in her eyes. I was struggling, and still am.

I waited patiently as usual. Nothing was quite unusual, the atmosphere is the same, the people are the same, the environment is the same. Perhaps only my soul was empty then, that’s the difference.

After a while, the room is empty again, only her and me. For once, her tone softened. The volume adjusted. Our faces were mere half a metre apart, and she began scribbling something on the paper. I couldn’t exactly make out the words, but I guess that wasn’t important.

She let out the news.

However, I have my reservations. I do not know how to react. I do not know what to say. I do not know where my mind was.

I do not understand till date. Why? How come?
Perhaps I am thinking too much,
or I have belittled myself too much.
I just do not understand the intention, the true intention.

Some told me it is all up to me.
As though I do not know.
A few told me it is a good opportunity.
As though I do not know.

Deep within, I am truly happy to hear. But I can already feel my stomach churning, should I have to make the decision soon. What more, when I do not have the time to really think through. But as me being me, the chances of me going with the flow is high, because, I am me.

But.. I do not know yet.


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