About Joy

I am a nobody that is starting to step into the world of reality, waking up from my childish thoughts. What a world! I will survive through, I will make it through, proving to others that I can do it. Then again..

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When you delved deeper and deeper,
and realised something.
Nothing is wrong, only the person is.
Self-centred and close-mindedness,
everything starts to make sense.

The world will indeed be a better place soon.
The departure will be a blessing to all,
even if that meant things may go slower.
At the very least, life will be better,
with less hinderance.

I could be wrong.
But my mind, heart and soul say otherwise.

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While the heart sank deeper and deeper,
the mind got confused and frustrated.
There was a sudden yell, coming from above.
Why blame others for your incompetencies?

The mind started to run in circles.
The heart buried itself deep within.
The soul was no where to be found.
Now things are not looking good.

The mind brought up more memories,
memories that the soul wanted to undo.
The mind was mad crazy by now,
convinced by the logic amongst the illogical.

The mind got tired of running around.
It stopped for a moment to rest.
The heart emerged from deep within,
and whispered, “there is nothing you can do now”.

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Confused and overwhelmed
Frowning on the outside
Deep thoughts on the inside
Trying to figure out the next step

Maybe there is no next step
Just going around in circles
Round and round and round
Leading to no where

Draining the energy and passion
Left without a purpose in life
Just going on day by day
Round and round and round

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I feel lost and empty
Like I was never found

The world continue to spin
The time continue to fly
Like I do not exist
Like I can care anymore

The voices within
The screams for freedom
Like something can to be done
Like I am in control

I feel powerless and flat
Like always

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The shoulders feel burdened
Heavier and heavier each day
Maybe that’s what I can do for them
Or I have no choice either

If I may, I plead for once
Don’t let me drown this time
Even if my lungs are filled with fluid
Just let me survive through

Perhaps I could stand a chance
If the burden is lightened
But there won’t be a chance
Never will I offload to them

I will be fine
I hope

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Humid and suffocating
The air doesn’t feel good at all
Maybe it is the time now
Or just me

The terminal feels foreign
So strange to a stranger like me
Maybe something is different
Or just me again

Things look wobbly and moving
Even for the street lights
Maybe the world is spinning too fast
Or just me again and again

Good Day

Today will be a good day.
Today will be a good day.
Well, I tried to reassure myself.

Maybe I am deceiving myself,
masking all the ugly truths.
Well, I tried to be positive.

The reality is..
The soul is still missing.
The heart is not beating.
The mind is not trying.

Summoning some hope,
I hope today will be a good day.